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10 February, 2011

You Must Meet My Wife, Wisteria Lane

Desperate Housewives

Last week on Wisteria Lane: Paul Young (late Mary Alice Young's husband, the one who killed Martha Huber) was back from 10 years in prison, and moved into Susan's house. (Susan had some financial trouble, and leasing the house out.) Lynette's friend Renee Perry came to visit Lynette and decided to stay with her for a while.
Carlos received a news from the hospital that their daughter (Juanita) was not theirs. Juanita was switched with another baby at the hospital. Carlos decided to keep this from Gabrielle, not wanting to hurt her. Gabrielle also learned from Bree it was Andrew who killed Carlos' mother Juanita. Gabrielle simply could not tell that to Carlos.
Meanwhile, Bree finds a handyman to change her house.

Tonight on Desperate Housewives (season 7 episode 2: You Must Meet My Wife)

Susan feels guilty about lying to Mike about her new, risque job. Meanwhile, Bree unexpectedly fires Keith when she finds herself falling for him. Then, Lynette thinks Renee is trying to sabotage her marriage, and Paul introduces the ladies to his new wife.

Desperate Housewives

Mary Alice Young quote:
Bad news travels quickly,
And when it arrives, we have to find a way to deal with it.
If our husbands tell us they've moved on...
We look for projects to distract us.
If the bills start to stack up...
We find ways to earn extra cash.
If we're told a secret tooo terrible to share...
We learn to keep it to ourselves.
But we must remember the bad news that's delivered can sometimes be good news in disguise.

Desperate Housewives

Last week on Desperate Housewives (season 7 episode 1: Remember Paul?)

There's a brand new housewife in the neighborhood! Okay, Renee Perry (Vanessa Williams) isn't exactly a housewife since she spends a lot of her time zipping around in a private jet. So when a shiny black limo comes rolling down Wisteria Lane, Lynette knows her old college friend Renee has just arrived.

Renee and Lynette have a bit of a twisted friendship. They constantly hurl vicious insults at each other, though always with a smile. Lynette says, "Renee comes off a little stuck-up when you first meet her, which is a real time-saver." Stuff like that.

The playful teasing takes a turn for the nasty when Renee insinuates that Lynette has not lived up to the potential she showed in college. Renee says, "It's just hard for me to reconcile this suburban housewife with the girl who had a threesome with two of the guys from the rugby team." Our jaws drop right along with Tom's.

"Everybody smile for mom and her strange and twisted friendship."

Lynette's had enough of Renee and tells her old college chum to hit the road. The problem is Renee has nowhere to go. Her superstar pro athlete husband is leaving her for another woman. A devastated Renee had to abandon her once-charmed life without a real game plan. Lynette offers her a place to stay for as long as she wants. We're just wondering if Renee is going to expect Lynette to do her laundry.

Susan, Mike and MJ try to make the most of their new, sparse living conditions. The woman who manages the complex where they now reside runs a website called "Va-Va-Va-Broom.com. Catchy name, right? The site features videos of women doing housework in lingerie. It pays big bucks, but Susan isn't about to be videoed vacuuming in a teddy. She plans to make some cash selling her homemade jewelry. But when earring sales slump, Susan has no choice but do a little "dirty dusting" for a sleazy online audience.

"We're not poor. We're just lower middle class."
After all these years, Bree finally tells Gaby that Andrew is the mystery driver who ran down her mother-in-law. Gaby wishes Bree had never said anything because now she'll have to tell her hubby. Speaking of Carlos, he gets some news he can't possibly share with Gaby, Thanks to a hospital worker's goof years ago, Gaby and Carlos took home the wrong newborn. Juanita is not their real daughter.

Gaby opts to not tell Carlos what really happened to his mother and Carlos opts to not tell Gaby about the Juanita situation. They are both looking out for each other, as they know the news would be devastating. Some things are better left unsaid. But are they truly better left unknown?

Orson's physical therapist, Judy, helps him move the last of his things out of Bree's house. This is all very hard on Bree, so Orson suggests she throw herself into a project. When a flap of wallpaper peels away, Bree rips off the entire sheet. Soon she's tearing every last shred of wallpaper down. Looks like she found herself a project!

Bree realizes that Orson has already struck up a little romance with Judy the physical therapist. This angers her at first, but she quickly realizes that another project could help take her mind off things. She eyes up Keith (Brian Austin Green), the handsome handyman who's helping her decide what to do with all those bare walls. Yes, this particular project could be a lot of fun.

As we know from last season's finale, another unexpected visitor has made his way back to the lane. Well, Paul Young isn't really a visitor. He used to be a staple in suburbia until he went to prison for murder. But Paul was released with a huge cash settlement after the woman he was accused of killing, Felicia Tilman, was found alive. Now Felicia is locked up and Paul is renting out Susan's house.
"That woman lives in a penthouse. We had to give up meat so we could buy a laptop."

Even though everyone now knows Paul didn't kill Felicia, they are all still creeped out by him. That's because the guy's creepy! He pays an "in your face" visit to Felicia in prison. She'll be out in 18 months with good behavior. Felicia vows to get revenge on Paul for killing her sister. We're inclined to take her threat seriously, as she says she still has a few friends left on Wisteria Lane.

Posted by Antony on 10 February 2011 9:54 AM | Desperate Housewives

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