Back to Bellick, harassing LB. He says he doesn't know the exact location of the money, that's why he needs the brothers. Linc sneakily places some glass under a tire. See, his Scofield Smart Gene was just dormant all this time. Anyway, Bellick says the boys had better cooperate or else, "the whore gets dead real fast." Was any part of that sentence grammatically correct?
Mahone receives news that Michael's hard drive was recovered. He peruses a clipping about Abruzzi while he also gets news that the blood from the blown-up car was B Neg, the same blood type as both brothers. An agent suggests they tell the media. Mahone continues his downward spiral and says they don't say anything until the death is confirmed. The agents all, "Uh, explosion? Lots of blood? Matches the brothers? What more do you need?" Well, for starters, Mahone says to run more tests, on the bumper. Seriously. Cuckoo! He also states that if they announce the deaths of two of the Escapees, the others will be on guard. If, however, they hear no one's been caught they might become complacent. Mahone then departs to glare at the Shales file some more.
Aah! It's Newbie. He dorkily sings along with John Denver, which Sweet Debra Jean finds amusing. Newbie testily tells her to slow down when he spies a patrol car and then tries to cover by saying they can't afford a ticket.
And back to the brothers. LB's mighty pissed that Michael keeps getting her into trouble. Bellick gleefully takes notice of this.
NA Meeting. Owen "shares" a sob story about a whole bunch of people in his family getting MS and how he's scared he'll get it too. Doc interrupts and says MS isn't genetic. Owen's all, "Really, what are you, a doctor?" Rude!
New York. Abruzzi returns home and is greeted by his wife and cute kidlets.
T-Bag, who's resembling something I scraped off the bottom of my shoe this morning, pulls into a gas station in Nebraska. He stumbles into the bathroom and downs some pills. Then he JABS A SCALPEL INTO HIS FREAKIN' FINGER! I didn't know his proclivities included masochism. Anyhoo, he's trying to see if blood's flowing to his hand, which it is. A long-haired dude comes in and asks what he's doing. Really? If you saw a guy jabbing himself with a scalpel wouldn't you, I don't know, run in the opposite direction as fast as you could? Especially if that guy looked like fresh road kill? T-Bag scoots, but Uh-oh! there's a few cops checking out Mr. Vet's car.
Linc's Scofield Smart Gene payed off, 'cuz the car has a flat. Bellick sends W-MSF back to town for a new tire and marches the three prisoners to a shack. LB mouths off that Michael was holding out on her. He was planning on sending her a measly 10,000, while he had five million waiting in the wings. As the boys file past, LB asks Bellick for a word. What for, you may ask. Well, she oh so wants, "to ruin his life like he ruined mine."
T-Bag tries to sneak away, but one of the cops spots him. He hobbles on over and shows off his mangled appendage. He claims to be a war vet named Clyde. Long story short: the cops send him on his way with a "Semper Fi."
Linc's busy trying to get out of his bindings while Michael's just kickin' back. "Stop stressing, it doesn't do any good." "Maybe you oughtta START stressing. They're gonna put a bullet into our heads," Linc grits out. Negative Nancy Burrows thinks LB's "rolling" on them.
We peek in on LB and Bellick. Bellick offers her money for sex. She manages to avoid puking on his shoes and goads him by saying Michael's outsmarting him. She points out that the flat was no accident and offers to find the whereabouts of the money in exchange for a cut. Bellick offers her 200 K.
New York. Abruzzi gets word that Fib's in DC, holed up in a motel, waiting to testify. Mrs. A smacks her hubby across the face not once, but twice (Go Mrs. A!). She demands he forget about Fib and start thinking about his family. She hands him a cross and urges him not to turn his back on God and his kids. Why didn't she do that before he conspired to kill people?
SDJ is on her cell, giving her location to someone. Newbie pops by (presumably after having relieved himself in the bushes) and asks who she was talking to. She says it was her dad and also says she wants to stop at a motel. Newbie points out that it's only four o'clock and if she's tired he can drive. She snits that it's her car, she's tired of it and she wants to stop. So they're stopping, end of discussion. She sounds like my mom.
Cut to Posse Central where Mahone's got a hot tip. He comments that "the Rat" is giving them their first collar.
Shack in the Woods. Bellick ties up LB next to Linc and leaves. She informs Michael that Bellick will "bite on anything I say." She asks Michael what he wants her to tell Bellick.
So T-Bag's hoofin' it. A good samaritan pulls up, saying he overheard "Clyde" was a vet. GS offers "Clyde" a ride. Did I mention GS has a tween daughter named Danielle? T-Bag goes all ooky and it's not pretty, but hats off to Robert Knepper.
Back to the Shack. LB gets Bellick alone and says Linc's got friends in Utah on a marijuana farm. She says the brothers plan on leading Bellick there and trapping him. Bellick asks for the location of the money and LB says she'll get it. But, first, she wants to renegotiate. She wants one third of the total haul. Bellick says that's a lot and she's gotta be willing to give a little "something" extra. She agrees and (ew!) leans (ew!) in (ew!) for (ew!) a (ew!) kiss. Ewwwwwww!
Mrs. A finds that Abruzzi has vamoosed.
Newbie sticks his foot in his mouth when he ASSumes that SDJ 1)doesn't have a boyfriend and 2)is a Mormon.
Cut to Mahone making flight plans and ordering up "twelve armed agents" who can accompany him to "the motel." Anyone else smell a Bait and Switch coming on?
Owen sleazily apologizes to Doc for biting off her head earlier. She accepts.
This next scene is so disturbing it's just too difficult to describe. Let's just say that T-Bag (again, Robert Knepper kicks gargantuan ass) makes a move on Danielle (sick!) and she bolts to tell her dad (smart girl). T-Bag hurries after her and finds a pissed GS holding his daughter. GS sends Danielle outside and menacingly approaches T-Bag with an iron.
God! Two awful scenes in a row! Ick! Yuck! Eww! LB's giving Bellick a lap dance and I Can't Watch! And that makes recapping especially difficult. In between grunts and Bellick's noises of approval/arousal (God, I need a shower) LB makes a play for the gun. Bellick grabs her and hauls her into the other room, but he does let her zip up her shirt first. He ties her up, turns and checks his waistband for the gun. It's gone! "You bitch!" he snarls. Linc pops up and grabs Bellick around the neck as we head to commercial (and I find some bleach for my eyes).
We come back with W-MSF rolling a tire into the shack (how'd he know that's where Bellick took the guys?). He spots Linc pointing the gun at him and groans, "You really suck Bellick, you know that?" Hee! So LB and Michael tie up the former guards and Bellick can't resist taunting LB about Doc. He says Michael's just using her like he used Doc. And what did that get Doc? An OD and a possible "thirty years inside." This is news to Michael and he oh-so-hotly flips. He hollers at Bellick to "Shut up!" and when that doesn't work he BOOTS HIM IN THE FACE! All right! That's what I'm talkin' about!
Outside a motel, Danielle sees T-Bag drive away in her dad's car. Poor Danielle.
Owen and Doc are chatting when Doc gets a call from Michael. He tearily apologizes. That sound? Legions of fans sighing as one. He warns her that anyone connected to him or Linc could be in danger. She doesn't want to hear it, but he barrels on. He says there's a way he can protect her and it's already in her possession. Before he signs off he breathily tells her, "It was real, Sara. You and me. It's real." That sound? Those viewers swooning. Michael hangs up and Doc's all, "Huh? Wah-Michael?" And cue Owen looking mighty interested.
Mahone's on his way to catch SOMEONE at a motel. Bait and Switch, people. Bait and Switch.
And we cut to a towel-clad Newbie (who does look much better sans clothing, I must admit). SDJ is heading out and Newbie observes that she seems nervous. She tells him she's going for Tequila and limes.
Abruzzi pulls into the parking lot of, yet, another motel. He makes his way inside, gun drawn. The shower's running, but it doesn't drown out the sound of screeching tires. Mahone calls to Abruzzi and says Fib's nowhere around. "You are going back to Fox River today, or the morgue. That's your call." Abruzzi says he's coming out. Mahone tells him to drop the gun and kneel. "I kneel only to God. I don't see him here." So, Abruzzi lifts the gun and while Mahone ducks behind his FedMobile (heh) his agents plug Abruzzi full of holes. I guess it wasn't technically suicide, which is a big Catholic no-no.
SDJ and Newbie are well on their way to Drunkenville. She totally hits on him and they kiss. Newbie looks conflicted.
Michael and LB are saying their goodbyes. They hug. When she hugs Linc, she grabs the gun. She's hurt 'cuz she really loved Michael, but he was just using her and the whole time he wanted Doc. She says she's done with crime, she's going to turn them in for the reward money. Linc doesn't think she'll be doing that. He pulls the clip out of his pocket. He takes the gun from her and stalks off, totally rocking the open-shirt look. Michael offers LB a "Good luck to you," and leaves. Judging by his expression, he totally believes he deserved that betrayal.
Posse Central. Mahone X's Abruzzi's pic and gets a lab report saying it was pig's blood in the blown-up car. Fans of CSI will understand why. Mahone murmers that Michael's a "clever boy." But, "the problem with being that clever is that, sooner or later, you end up getting too clever for your own good." He squints at Michael's pic and it soon becomes Shales'. Capt. Crazy Mahone rips Michael's pic from the wall (fans scream in protest) and tosses it on the floor. Dude's losing it, seriously.